Stars are for fathers…

I want to take a short journey with you fathers, back in time a bit… into one of my favorite places on earth…. the woods.

There’s a lot of things that I as a young cub scout, discovered in them. The blue skies and clouds immense and expansive juxtaposed alongside the tree canopy, it’s borderless boundary, it’s height. The quantity and sizes of those branches, trunks and roots… it all peaked my curiosity of the unknown. The thought of sleeping in a tent in the backyard was a thrill for me too.


We may have been young but knew if there was any distress, the “parental-guides” were close enough by us to respond to danger and would have already surveyed that where we were was a safe place to abide. Our confidence in the vigilance of our volunteering host parents watching over our tent, kept us courageous enough to go back to sleep when we heard strange sounds in the wind, or saw shadows on the tent walls.  Soon, evening gave way to morning and before you know it, we cubs were rejoicing we made it through the nights perils into a brand new day… with all its new adventures awaiting.

I was a child raised without my biological father’s presence.  I had substitutes come in for that in my earlier days.  One took an interest in my art projects and cub scout assignments, yet had drinking and anger challenges. 


Some of these father figures were good, some not so. My biological dad and I interacted a little bit more much later in my twenties with initial help of other family members to cross over the communication gap.  I had lots questions about “what makes a family a family…”, and “why my last name was different from my mother’s and my other siblings”, and …”WHAT DOES A GOOD DAD LOOK AND ACT LIKE?”


Sons throughout the ages, in contemplating their destinies via questions, have similarly been in need of proactive, vigilant and protective guidance, and as such…they have similar needs of leadership residing within leaders, who have indeed been guided once themselves. Even more specifically, sons need men to identify and develop that male “seed of leadership” that is only thoroughly transferred and communicated in ways that our specific gender understands, relates to and receives with an open and tender heart.


Not everything can simply be transfered to your child via logic, or disciplinary action, or friendship, or compromise. Your use of concepts connecting with their own imagination can often guide them on trajectory towards listening to the “truth” and resisting lies. This is a key for sons and daughters alike. When they can discern for themselves in your absense, your battle over their souls becomes lighter as they actively choose obedience to the truth over those propogated lies. God’s Spirit (the master teacher) can take these same seeds of obedience and produce something far greater than anyone imagined initially.

Usually a period of absence creates the backdrop for an enemy to whisper thoughts in little ears about “why’ you are not there in your position of “a father”. 


As it was in ancient yesterday (as far back as Eden when Eve had a ‘meet and greet’ with a most subtle beast…) so it is today…children initially hear that subtle voice of reason (from oftentimes hurt or angry family members-perhaps even the paternal mother) as to why you, as a father, are not around for the children as often as is desired.  The first lie which kids hear and try to overcome on their own is what they have been initially told by others… that you don’t care enough about them to tell them the truth. (After all, doesn’t logic suggest you spend time with those you care about). The enemy plots for your absence, (yet you can counter-plot for his plots and cause him to flee in your absence through your proactive prayer life). You can build and fortify your house against the forces of the air (as God’s Spirit describes satan’s fallen position after being cast out of heaven like lightning, as now being the prince of the power of the air!) So, today we need a truth-filled example to compare these lies with about absences and ultimately bring out the truth of the matter in a different light.


You’ve heard of Moses (God called him out from leading sheep to leading God’s people out of Egypt).  Ok, so Moses one of the greatest authors of all time (a deliverer…a father who had a relationship with God)…wrote it this way: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth….” Genisis 1:1. God took the time to explain “the beginning…” to Moses and as part of his need for these and other resources, equipped him to lead the people further into their destiny which was being built on faith. Now, Moses had his own dysfunctional family patterns to deal with while he was trying his best to serve God and others. He was definitely aware of the “struggle”… especially the multitasking, the situational awareness, the misunderstanding, the betrayal  the fragmentation and the disappointments.


Moses..look up! Something is already handled on your behalf, oh visionary one called out and apart by God Himself. There’s something about the created hosts of heaven, the surety of distant stars, their assigned positions, that galactic prestructured order that is far above a fathers comprehension, yet speaks to the role of power, promise and leadership under intelligent spiritual command. Since God placed them there with purpose, so He places you as a father right here…with purpose, power and authority under God’s will for your particular generation’s assignment (you could have come 100 years before slavery..but you didn’t come until now). It’s the same with your kids after you…. especially those brought under your direct care or supervision. I believe Moses had these concepts to help him not to give up and to know that he isn’t alone in this experience. Heaven had his back!

One thing that helps fathers (such as Moses who actually sought for God’s presence too) is to ask, seek and get that vision (from God) for his family, both absent and present family members under your authority. You can then communicate from that place of understanding concerning their destiny in God. Then ask God to show you how to execute what He shows you.  God hears and answers those prayers that are connected to His own heart!  It is a destiny bigger than both you and all of them together, broader in scope and reaches into their future…all at the same time.

Prior to him writing this scripture verse, Moses was called away by God to spend some quality one on one time with God, concerning his own destiny…months away from the people he was leading. When he left, that “subtle” beast called ‘satan’ followed, kept them under surveillance, located and found some willing participants, (some listeners aka “doubters”)…had a meet and greet back at base camp about this ‘absentee father called Moses’ and an ‘absentee agenda’ from an insinuated ‘absentee God’.  All lies without memorably rehearsed facts present to challenge it (other than God’s provision for the thousands of them that was ever present, and their own individual faith), yet nevertheless many believed the lies coupled with their emotions of restlessness and doubts about leaving polytheistic Egypt… they listened and heeded. They put pressure on Aaron (the priesthood) and he gave into the manipulation, the same witchcraft that worked in the garden of Eden with Eve. Here comes idolatry and the Golden calf….. and problems galore, to include punishments, family separations, death and a longer wilderness journey…just to mention a few. This is that backdrop in his generation.

We have our own concepts to use for ours. Let’s fast forward to today. God will show you more as you spend time with Him, here’s a few I have gathered.


Concept A: Relationship

When it’s bright outdoors, it’s not too difficult to see the individual trees that make up the tree lines of a forest. God will create the moment, eventually dispell a dark season in your sons walk , with the light of His very own countenance. It will illuminate his vision to now focus on the big picture… and not merely notice the creatures of the forest. They’ll release the nursery school inhibitions of “why, why, why…” and move towards “What’s next God? Here am I! I volunteer…!” Sons can identify the path they need to walk through the forest into their place of promise and effectiveness…no longer clouded by fear of the unknown. They need to be looking with anticipation for this moment to come. You, father, can speak this into their destiny. The moment of their new birth in God!


Concept B: The Word of God

When night comes around again, then it’s important to have a light source in order to see accurately enough to focus where you are heading in a very dark forest. We journey in both the day and night, and sons and daughters can navigate as they were instructed in the day…if there is enough light present. God’s word is like a lamp on our sneakers…like a torch lamp on those paths. If sons receive His word of instruction, they can better navigate the darkness of peer pressure, depression, manipulations, treachery and betrayal, and other supernatural based occurrences. Pray God’s Word takes root in their heart as they journey onward from this younger season of their lives. If they are trained in this realm…they will walk it out.


Concept C: Vigilance and Holiness

Now, of course, along the journey if you’re preparing yourself to lay down and sleep, then you’re not really heading anywhere at that time…so, may as well cut the lamp off, shut the eyes and snooze. Hope nothing jumps out to get you while you’re fast asleep. There are hedges for a reason (ever heard of a hedge-fund). You place hedges as lines of demarcation seperating your place of abode/ jurisdiction from that of an intruder… a stranger. ‘The angels of the Lord encamps around about them that fear (trust) Him…” Psalms 34:7 Fathers and sons can claim this promise of an “angelic protective hedge ” for themselves as well as over one another! It’s important to note here that vigilance is effective when you have one anothers back and are fighting for each other’s highest well being. Prayer is an important key here!

Sometimes God speaks from the hedge! Moses heard God and first saw the Angel of God’s presence in a “Bush” (a type of hedge).  Insomuch as when Moses began to draw closer to this phenominal hedge…God said to him “Don’t come any closer…take off your shoes; you are now standing on Holy ground…” Exodus 3:5

Moses now entered into the “obedience” phase of his destiny.  Moses wrestled with that phase, as most fathers do.  Fathers, as you are drawn closer to too will find that holiness will confront your own life first before you can come close enough to hear and effectively be lead by God to dispell and confront disobedience later on in the lives of your beloved. Take your shoes off, be truthfully transparent and obedient in your communications with God. It’s ok to confess your own shortcomings to Him here and your dependence on Him to help you through this. It’s worth it all…Moses could tell you some stuff man!

Can’t skip Jesus intervention for you at this juncture to even be able to freely approach God’s throne of Grace (unmerited favor)..because you are approaching God (whom you don’t see) through your faith… by way of Jesus Christ- God’s Son’s blood shed at crucifixion and His ressurrection power  covering your past sins..making you a new creation! You can boldly come here to ask God to intervene on everything!! A new creation for a new day… and a new man! Can’t skip that order of creation. It has your name on it!


Concept D: Reflections

Sometimes the moon will assist you to see a little in the forest. It simply reflects the light it receives from the sun and relays it to the earth.  Others who reflect the Son’s life in them can assist you by praying for you, encouraging you, helping you, challenging you…while in your dark hour. It doesn’t really take the place of you being an active participant in your own deliverance that you desire of God to do on your behalf. He’ll never set you up for failure…but God can use a failure of yours as a tool to set you up for success!

I recently had a flattened tire caused by a very small screw. It was bitter cold and dark… I had no usuable light and no tools for extraction. God gave me resources to get what I needed, (I had a spare but didn’t want the headache of more time consumption).  He knew I wanted to fix the flat at the point of the breach… yet he showed the remedy to me in steps over the course of two hours. Now, mind you, I have fixed several car tire flats in my lifetime, but with all the proper tools present though.  As each hour passed I grew upset at the frustration, the cost of this demise, the embarrassment, the cold and the isolation of being all alone while dealing with this problem. Then I heard…”did you ask God to assist you?” I got further frustrated, but opened my mouth and uttered for help. I saw my pride, arrogance..and I was ashamed of what I was listening myself say. So I began a longer conversation with God about my frustrations with everything…and prayed about a breakthrough.  God answered, before I was finished praying…and continued instructing me further that very night. Problem is resolved, months later…still fixed, and spare is unused. Fathers are sons too…just older.

Ok, …but what about the Stars?


Concept E: Stars

When things are beyond your reach, when you observe there is nothing further that you can do that will affect the order of the cosmos… after having done all you can it’s important to stand and look at God’s finished handiwork. He has permitted certain instances and occurrences that are in play as part of His sovereignty and divine will. He is God, after all.

Yet,  God enables you, as His chosen leader of the hour, to execute His will in the earth realm. There are rewards for obedience…some follow you into the next life because it is appointed unto man once to die…but afterwards, the judgement of our deeds will be in play.  There is a harvest coming of things you sowed in your life and in the lives of others. There is also so much more going on in God’s creation and business plans than we see that we have been assigned to do here.  It is written that we only see through a dark glass…dimly. We are stargazing with a telescope of tinted lens…with just the little knowledge that has been released to mankind so far.  So be comfortable that you’re surrounded constantly by a host of activity on your behalf.

God made Stars for fathers.  Although they have been placed in their individual spaces… miles apart…they are not alone in their function and existence.  Neither are you.  You have been unknowingly surrounded by a master plan of action that has weight, order, substance, power, glory, significance, seasons…I could go on, but it was all provided for you BEFORE you dealt with your first obstacle. “God got you covered!’ Nothing is too hard for you with God on your side leading you through life.


He taught Abraham how to become a father of nations using very old stars. He also used stars to remind him of an eternal promise among fathers. That promise is that your word is bond.  Your words are sure when God backs you up. They will not return empty when you declare what God tells you to say.

There are galaxies, and solar systems. The vastness of the numbers of them…too wonderful to comprehend.  Jesus spoke of God’s accounting of creation and said our hair strands are numbered, our worth is established…God has accounted for all of your existence.  As a father, know you are not alone in this office of leadership in the family unit.  God will continue guiding you as you use your faith. As you seperate yourself from the crowds of onlookers…as a father of fathers in your community…It may leave you with a slight sense of isolation (as other fathers won’t go the same distance that you will go to perform God’s desires within your family).  But there is an order to things.  You’re getting in line to receive the blessings of faithful Abraham.  Know that Abraham made his mistakes too, but it didn’t cancel his destiny.  Today, even Muslims recognize hierarchy and identify and include themselves under Abrahams family genealogy. Now…they don’t believe witnesses of Jesus in all that God sent Jesus to accomplish for the sins of mankind. But they understand the role of a father and his siblings. It’s the God of this world that blinds minds from the truth. God’s Word is truth. He enlists fathers to tell the truth. Use God’s word to make a Stellar impact on your generation…and to be a finisher of the race you run.

they see what you do
they hear what you say
they muster up courage
Then they ask “Dad….what are you doing?”

Your answer means everything, as you lead them while you’re being led.


Justice denied is “Just -Us” Revived

“Mom, but that’s not fair….!”  Ever remember your earliest words describing what you felt was a sense of injustice at an early age?


It’s funny how we look to our older population for truthful answers and wholesome knowledge. One day we get disappointed, offended, experience some disenfranchised grief, maybe some even get reclusive because we trusted once, and were let down by an older generation.

Truth is….. they are only as jacked up as you and I are. It’s just, well…they have had a little more time practicing it. This doesn’t mean that all are the same, because a few…a very few seem to break rank and stand up for what is right. Our system of justice in America seems to be influenced by racial intolerance, bigotry and greed… all three existing and coexisting in our culture despite laws against their proliferation.

OJ’s case 20 yrs later
If you read the link, it should be clear that when one jurisdiction gives you a “get out of jail free” card… another jurisdiction can alter that reality with one if its own “get back in there” cards. It just needs a chance to get it done…sprinkle some classism, racism, harassment, surveillance, lies and a little misconduct…. and you can get a video to sing a different tune to the public. (You can get Rodney King to look like he was the aggressor. You could get a still photo of Dr. Martin King to look like he was littering in his own community- even under the watchful eye of the FBI.)


Dr. King removing burned cross from his own lawn… investigators must have been on a “TCH “smoke break all night to have missed the real culprits.

In that OJ article you may also get to see some of the components that are needed for fairness to even have a chance to be administered to opposing parties…. sometimes these components are tainted.

Lawyers, Legislation, Judicial facilitation, Investigations, Enforcement, Forensics…oh…and the Media all make up a segment of some of the main components. Each one of these has an individual agenda that they times these agendas conflict with the aims of “justice”. Conflicts such as racial profiling, redlining, percentage of wrongful convictions in minority case work, prison systems heavily populated by minorities, lawyers striking deals giving up on some clients while working hard for other clients (yet taking the money from all), cops obstructing justice through planting evidence, falsification of police notes, corrupt judges called out of retirement during “witchhunts” for political goals…. I don’t have the time.

link to cflj pdf

Nothing fair there…nothing. Ever heard of CYA (cover your _ _ _). Well, you have to consider measures to ensure the truth will speak for you in a season of injustice. Can’t cry out to momma too long (for the mamma’s boys)…she can only pray for you. If you have a dad…they can pray too… depends on their connection to God. But your relationship with God becomes more and more relevant in a cold, dark world made up of systems designed to pull you down. The world loves its own (cold temporary love at best)… if you don’t join them then you’re an outcast to them. Join the winning team…. of truth and justice… not the “Just-Us” team. Find out what it takes from you to outshine dark forces, outlive short money… and to make a difference. Be the change you hope for. Jesus once told His disciples that if any man believed on the words they spoke…that He would transfer the benefits of their relationship onto that believer also. He also said He was returning to retrieve those believers.  I believe this as a choice…as I’m still learning… I have experienced remarkable favor and insight during my life challenges.
Hope you choose the right choice for your situation.

Don’t Judge…. Just Choose

So you like judging others lives while skipping your own?

Everyone has an opinion. Does that make everyone wrong?
Everyone has a perspective. Does that make everyone right?

If you subscribe to a weaker set of morals and values than the next person, does that make you less valuable an opinionated person than the one subscribing to a higher code of conduct?

So, you wanna judge, huh?

What standard are you using to measure your behavior by? Your imagination? Your “unstable as water” emotions? Your older “mistake riddled” relatives? Your deceased friends? Your high school and college textbooks? Your bible?

The non-violent Hindu referred to as “Ghandi” had an opinion about Jesus Christ and Christianity. Article


Tim had one too.
So does Jeff’s Blog.

With the passage of time, the addition of even more articles can effectively blur his quotes even further from the truth of its origin….eventually watering them down to a mere opinion, a myth, an intangible set of ideals wrapped up in a mere memory.

And we trust historians? I don’t think so. Gotta choose to find the truths of his life..gather a sense of what he was about. Same with Jesus. There are records of ancient data with testimonials of people….but ultimately truth is possessed by the possessor.

People have used similar methods of deception by flooding via opinions, perspectives, story telling, unsubstantiated facts offered as theories…. in watering down the truth of events…for centuries.

I struggled with conveying truths to my two siblings as they approached teen years. Their mothers (different age and ethnic origin) were fiercely adamant about covering up the truth….hiding the facts. They willingly forced their perceptions and fears upon my kids that would haunt them to this day. They altered their birth names, disguised the paternal information and ascribed their care giving to another male who’s DNA and level of love had nothing to do with my kids need for their real father who was not deceased. They were raised like I was unreachable… like I never tried to gather and embrace them,  all in an attempt by the mothers to cover up the truth. And the moms had help to do this. Can you imagine? What a conspiracy?!

Yet, God gave me an early warning prior to this baby mama drama, and I didn’t heed it. I recalled the one woman (young lady at the time) who convinced me I was the biological father of her newborn girl, even put me on the birth certificate….but married off soon after the child was born.

Took me 15 years to uncover that lie…but uncover it I finally did. I couldn’t believe the outcome at first. Next had to tell the truth to all those that believed the lie along with me for all those years.

My kids get to choose and to judge at some point. It’s the truth that will make them free eventually. In the meantime….well… God only knows. I’ve yet to see the Tiger in them (just a feminine version of Simba so far). I guess that’s as far as the mom’s and co-conspirator’s could take them. My kids were entitled to the truth.. and to my presence.

Oh I have a story…. not enough space in a blog though. True fathers… get ready, set….. grow!

The Role of Media: From Public Watchdog to Agenda Driven Snake in the Grass

Sifting through nonsense reporting…and finding more of the truth.

But sift you must, or just get prepared to stomach a bunch of facts and misguided innuendos. Your first encounter with the media propoganda was laced in  the cartoons you watched, and what your parents discussed in the home.

I have listened to a lot of news programs and television reporting going on decades now. I would almost say that I am a kind of connoisseur of the approaches that media takes to influence public opinion. Is it any wonder that after the Warren Commission findings were published concerning a political assassination, the media asserted different positions that gave birth to conspiracy theories which live on in confusion even today.

It’s the stuff of modern day folklore.

So, as I grow in my years of observation, I’m clearly aware that video is influenced… for the purpose of  influencing the public’s opinion, in ways that cater to individual agendas tied to the aspirations of tv networks… which themselves have political affiliations dressed as “biases”. The use of propaganda in  television and newspaper in the United States is frowned on by other countries that, by the way, also use propaganda in their own methods of influencing their cultures public opinion.

Hypocrites, yet they point the finger at the “American” propaganda machine.

Alright, moving on… so we look at the OJ trial, and we see how public opinion is influenced… even though that judge “banged the gavel” and OJ was acquitted initially. The families sought civil compensation, for which they were awarded at a later trial, and the media continue to influence public concerning his guilt. The media linked with private investigators and local law enforcement did the same type of thing to Michael Jackson in a different setting… just to get a picture if him naked.
Question: Did they do that to Sandusky? Nevermind.

Fast forward to today and the  media reported information on one particular confessed killer in Florida, who is currently (as of this blog’s writing) on death row and his claim is to be the actual murderer of Ron Goldman and Nicole Simpson. CNN article on Discovery Channel’s documentary It is reported that he confessed to the murders, and he even mailed an item that he took from the scene of the crime -a pendent from Nicole and sent it to his mother as a souvenir. But the media has not covered that too aggressive, and the parents of Nicole and Ron Goldman are not really interested in the outcome of this confession, because they are hurting and believe OJ is the initial cause of the intrusion.

I know for me… if I were Mr. Goldman, that I would want to know who really did it…so I don’t understand the animosity from the family if the real killer is now finally identified as not being OJ Simpson.

Unless of course, they feel obligated from a media standpoint, to be consistent with all the decades of reporting the media has done concerning the OJ trial. The fascination today with Kim Kardashian and family is sure enough connected to her father…. who was one of a OJ’s lawyers at the time.  Court TV and others reality based crime reporting had a boost from the turning point that the OJ Simpson trial produced, even to affect the use of cameras in the courtroom.

So yeah, I get it, the media definitely has a role in influencing public opinion, from which this opinion influences polls, and influences the voting booth decisions made ultimately in the upcoming elections.

During the Obama administration, I have also seen the power that the media wielded when during his first term of office, I walk into a news stand and lo and behold 50% of all the magazines had some type of image of Michelle, the kids, or the President elect on the front cover. I remember the reality show circuit that Michelle went around and gave the public a close look at her charming personality.  I was amazed at how the media backed him up, and was aggressive on the newsstand and social media networks about it.

Well, young adults and reasonable minded citizens, it made me wonder, what if the media united on civil rights reparations, or issues related to homelessness, or crime, what would occur if they were similarly united and dealt with it like they did just to get the first black president in office? More often than not, the media is in bed with certain organizations that have union ties, that could include the Taxicab Commission, the various law enforcement agencies, the building and trades commissions, political affiliations, and so on. When you see Fox News, know that they have a directly opposing view than CNN would have. Very few syndicated newsworthy reporting agencies, that have significant financial backing to keep them afloat, exist in this world. This world hates truth, and it hates God. Don’t be confused.

The more pain you try to coverup, the more you run, why is that?

How to know when you’re fearful as opposed to being careful.


From the Movie "Training Day" caption

If I talk to you about Chinese checkers, and you never played it, you probably wouldn’t react passionately about anything related to these checker games in China. Lol. (Supposed to be a joke). So, listen, if I refer to something that you have no connection to whatsoever, it’s expected that you are numb to the information and so you’re indifferent to it as well. NO REACTION.

But on the other hand, if I say something to you and you now react in some type away …. it shows you are affected by what I said… you could be in a certain type of way…and not even know it.

Okay, let’s go one step further.

So, now if I move closer to you with a phone call, or a text, or a visit, or simply just an idea or thought for us to join together,… and you react in such a way that you run, or disappear, or become preoccupied, or become obsessed with something other than what was about to be discussed… you might have some real pain. In fact, it ain’t no might in it. You DO have real pain inside….and you are running.

The problem with this “Run Forest run…” behavior is that it is repetitive and duplicatable, and it follows you to every juncture where you encounter big opportunities, and any moments that have an emotion of pain attached to it potentially. All this evasive behavior starts in our youth, and parents sometimes helped foster this bad reaction that you repeatedly have to events of significance in your life. It’s not just being “nervous”… it’s the affects of the silent trauma to your emotions which had its beginning in custodial issues.


Captions from "Training Day" Denzel...

I see this pain as it relates to my own life, especially with my non custodial sons. Their mothers (one black, the other Italian) didn’t know that as a result of their parental selfishness, their first born children would have this evasive reaction to huge moments in their life that would follow them into their teenage decision making. My elementary school aged boys became naturally anxious to be with me, so much so that their moms incorrectly and fearfully interpreted it as unnatural and in need of medical/psychological intervention (for which I didn’t agree at all).

When it came to isolating the kids from their biological father (for any jack ass reason at all) my sons (who are years apart in age and different in race) surpressed and internalized their feelings year after year. They began to deal with their own intrinsic paternal seperation questions by using the comic relief of cartoons and video games (the electronic babysitter commonly used by their moms). I could see the pain in their eyes when I dropped my sons…my only sons… off.


Caption from Movie "Training Day"

Tough part in all this… this dad wanted to be there for his sons from day 1. But these moms just chose to be with that “other guy”. They could care less about me as a person…. they just wanted the dna. I chose badly…. that’s all.

I remembered the questions the young lads asked me as to when we could go out together again and how soon that would be. They were cautioned (by their moms) not to get too happy about these scarcely planned visits that the moms rationed for their own selfish reasons. I remember being hindered from sharing with my sons the details of why the separation had to take place at drop off, and in some cases they were so young they really only wanted to have a good time, they didn’t care about the cause as to why, they just didn’t want the pain. Still true up to this day.

I also remember the long, silent rides home. And I recalled the pain that I too felt…. with all its quiet simmering hurt. I went searching for my music…. and my comfort food because I saw the fractured state of my family. I never liked it… but I knew I did everything I could to avoid it.

Their mothers, incapable of understanding the depths of this silent cry within these young men, were blinded by fears they possessed as females unbridled. They were oblivious as to how this silent pain would turn itself into a quiet storm of anger in both sons,… looking for a way to release itself from out of their own young emotional cavern of thoughts. They (the moms) after all, where not men… and didn’t exercise the wisdom that dictated that they not try to replace that biological bond with dad…. with a cheaper substitute (usually a different love interest). These moms eventually found in one another a comradery in motherhood… a mutually shared selfishness, a twisted sense of self denial that my boys were forced to live with and get used to as “just normal”. As sons, they couldn’t speak up without upsetting their moms, no way could they express their pain from deep down inside…they could only listen to the drama unfolding before them and watch… the tv.

Later on down the road in high school my sons sometimes could channel that anger into areas that produced enough energy for them to burn and use to excel in sports, to overcome a deficit of peace that pain rendered, separating my kids from just a peaceful, stable comfortable maturation process. And in the end… dysfunctional living for them was accepted as…. their new normal. Fathers… you know what this is. You recognize this M.O. right?

Tomorrows are an accumulation of todays… I put my time in, I paid with my own blood and soon my story will be told.

The time for healing, and for courage to step forward front and center…. is now. I don’t expect courage to rise up from a victim’s mentality. Even when family such as moms and dads don’t collectively buy into the reality of the truths they must face and give account for, their contribution to a victims mentality is evident in the apprehensions of a child’s ambitious endeavors while growing into adulthood.

We as people are entitled to the healing phases of life. Spirit, Soul and Body.
My prayer is that God will allow that to form and to take place… because I choose not to be indifferent.

Laughter is medicine

Knock knock, Whose there….
Five to One…
“Five to One” who?…
Five to one,… those released Taliban detainees don’t believe in Indian giving! -sB

Wait for it……..

Q: Ok, what’s blue, red, orange, green, yellow and pink…and smiling?
A: Your kids lips after getting out the car with an empty bag of Skittles. -sB

Wait, wait…..

Walker#1: “giggling”…
Walker#2: what’s funny?

Walker#1: …nothing…
Walker#2: So, why the giggles

Walker#1: Well, I thought about picking up our pace but didn’t know how to ask…
Walker#2: But we just finished eating that big meal…the buritto, remember? The corn, the beans, the rice,….

Walker#1: “giggling”…
Walker#2: ok…faster it is…

Aaah- haaaah…  -sB

Mentor or mental? Do you know who you are modeling your life after?

Dennis Rodman has a following. As corny as his basketball game seemed to be, he still was inducted into the Hall of Fame with those skillsets. He even took a stab at humanitarianism and entrepreneurism, by heading over to North Korea and giving them some publicity…. well, ok we all know how that turned out yet… Somebody is emulating him today. Goes to show that imperfectness is also a leader.

I can’t say that I have one role model, there have been men that have come in my life and have spoken some remarkable principles and concepts to me. They have been wise men, and strong men, family man, and faith filled men, but I don’t know that any one particular one stands out “head and antlers” above the rest. George Mitchell was an incredible man in my life… I feel that my biological dad is a fantastic man….such a giver in years past.

Jesus stands out to me…but I’ve read the book. He was one of a kind (I mean if you were born without sperm and egg in a virgin, that means your real parent is God..the Creator.) I can’t compete with that start.  His earthly parents were really step parents…. they were hosts, they were team players, partners, coaches, facilitators….and at the same time…. spectators. Sounds like God’s plan to me.

What has happened to actual parenting? Trial and error! It has become a case study in mental dysfunction, leading to disorder! No longer a “village raised” concept. Imagine…. two broken females trying to raise a son to be a man…without a man! It’s as broken in an LGBT value system as it is in a single parenting one.

How about this, imagine for a second that you are an offended parent tying the step parents hands behind their back (with the offending parents trial and error selfishness), while asking them to understand why you are complaining about how long they take, or how they fail to display affection, or how ambitious they are not, or how they don’t listen to your every breath,  or how they don’t choose to agree with you most of the time. What a parent?!?! Who was your mentor?? How do you expect them to do anything with their hands tied?!? You need help….
Oh, has replaced parenting. I almost forgot. Through pride and apathy…parents let the tv tube babysit far too long. Cartoons written without wholesome family values..become idols in kids minds….and hard to shake off. Kids grow “indifferent” and they don’t even know it….because cartoons are that way…. indifferent to pain, loss, death, values… when kids become teens and young adults, their indifference begins eroding there lives…if unchecked, could get fatal.

Technology with all it’s facts, figures, followers….. but no character building. Self-denial, self-centered, self-supporting, self-indulged, self-absorbed, self-made…
Self self self selfselfselfselfselfse…….. oh, here’s one….selfish.

Yep..and if your in your feelings…it’s because it’s written all over your face right now…you just didn’t know it.

So, if your mentor is someone that’s not stronger than you, bigger than you, better than you, faster than you, smarter than you,  even if its you… then you are FOOLING YOURSELF.

You may want to reconsider how you choose your mentor(s), because at this stage, dude you are the blind leading the blind. Add indifference to blind leadership….and you get a ship about to run aground in shallow waters….with a captain about to bail ship before the women and kids! Remember….the selfishness that’s marinating inside, remember.

Good news is God can change that in you. You can’t do it without Him. And He’s the only one who can. It’s only your fault if you don’t let Him do it. It’s not your fault to start out “jacked up”…. but it is your fault to run, hide, avoid and rebel.